


Cold Heart- A Sanders Sides Fan Fiction

by Ericthometer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Being Lost, Christmas, Gen, Platonic LAMPT, Platonic Lamp/Calm - Freeform, Platonic Male/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-05 02:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15854697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ericthometer/pseuds/Ericthometer
Summary: It's Christmas Eve in the mindscape, and though it's Virgil's second time spending it with the other Sides, he still feels he doesn't understand the real meaning behind it....Patton goes missing, and it's up to Thomas and the Sides to find him and bring him back before the Mind Palace freezes over.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Sanders Carol](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557523) by [IronWoman359](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronWoman359/pseuds/IronWoman359). 
  * Inspired by [Heartwarming](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15366888) by [imaquailcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaquailcat/pseuds/imaquailcat). 



> Hi guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Please point out any grammatical errors in the comments or bookmarks.  
> *Comments, kudos, hits, and bookmarks are appreciated!

Christmas Eve. Snow fell in silent whisps outside the Mind Palace, covering the ground with a thick white blanket. All manner of snowfolk were scattered across the front yard, angel and man, illuminated by rainbow lights outlining the house's exterior. Towering evergreens marched in an endless line back and back and back beyond the range of sight, speckled with pearly fluff caught in their needles. The night was dark- the moon's light barely peeked out from tiny breaks in the overcast sky, snow like inverted ash, gently falling out of a sheet of shadowy pitch. Virgil watched the outside from his window, studying everything his eyes hovered over before closing the shutter his finger had propped open and flopping onto his bed.  
Christmas Eve. He thought to himself. Of all the holidays in the year, it just had to be Christmas today. Patton always threw a party on Christmas. Not just a party, not even just a Christmas party. A Patton Christmas party. Tree decoration, baking, movie-watching, singing, more baking, more movies, more decoration, more singing- it was exhausting. It wasn't that he didn't like them; he just wasn't used to all that. It was only his second Christmas with the other Sides, after all. Hence he retired from the party early, and was now laying on his bed, drained and bothered. All this *stuff* for one holiday? Virgil didn't understand why the others liked Christmas so much, to him, it just seemed like some corporate scheme, but Patton and Roman loved it- even Logan admitted to liking it! There was this whole gimmick about "Christmas spirit" and "Believing in... something." What was he even supposed to "believe in?" Santa? He turned over in his bed.  
"It's Christmas..." A voice inside him said. "So why aren't you happy?"  
"But what is Christmas? And why aren't I happy?" He responded internally. The voice didn't say another word.

Several minutes later, Virgil heard a knock at his door. He looked up.  
Why would there be a knock at his door? Everyone usually just warps in. Virgil opened the door cautiously.  
"Hi, kiddo." Said a Christmas-sweater-clad Patton. "You left the party early, so I wanted to check in on you." Virgil got back in bed.  
"I'm fine. Just tired."  
"You sure?" Patton came in meekly.  
"Yes. I'm sure."  
"The party ended." He pointed out.  
"Okay." Patton raised an eyebrow.  
"You know you can tell me if something is wrong, right kiddo? We're Best Friends after all." Virgil mulled it over.  
"Why do you do so much work on Christmas?" Patton stood there, dumbfounded.  
"What?"  
"Why do you always do so much work on Christmas? Why do *we*? Why does Thomas?" Patton rubbed his glasses with his sweater.  
"That's a pretty loaded question, Virge. I can't speak for the others, but I know I do because I love Christmas, and I love sharing it with you guys."  
"But why do you love it so much? What even *is* Christmas?" Virgil said, raising his voice. His eyeshadow darkened.  
Patton stood unfazed. "I'm going to go get something, I'll be right back." He left and closed the door, leaving Virgil in silence.  
He pulled up the covers, and tried to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Virgil couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to get comfortable, but something was... off. Virgil got out of bed, turning on his lamp with the flick of his finger. He figured he'd listen to some music to doze off. Virgil apparated his phone and a pair of earbuds into his hand, and scrolled through his playlist.  
Something felt different.  
He paused his music and took out his earbuds. What *was* that? Virgil looked around uncomfortably. It wasn't so much the presence of the... whatever it was... But it was the lack thereof. It stopped as soon as it began.  
He put his earbuds back in. The music played on for a couple more minutes, and Virgil calmed down. He had nearly forgotten about the...  
There it was again.  
Virgil stood and inspected his room. Was someone watching him? Was it some kind of prank? He stood silently and listened, trying to pinpoint the source. It was some sort of dissonance- a low hum- coming from somewhere. Virgil put his ear to the wall. Where...?  
The walls. Inside the walls. Near the room lining. He cupped his ear to hear it more clearly. It was an inflection, like a long, deep, constant breath in with no exhale. He knew that sound from somewhere.  
Electrical wiring.  
They didn't have electricity in the classical sense; everything in the mindscape was a sort of metaphysical representation of Thomas' mind. Come to think of it, Virgil never actually knew where the Mind Palace got its' power from. He always figured it was just sort of conjured like everything else. He figured he'd ask Logan about it tomorrow.  
His lamp flickered.  
Okay, maybe later tonight?  
The hum stopped for a moment, lamp flickering, and started again.  
Okay, right now. Virgil turned the lamp off and quickly left his room, walking down the hall. He knocked when he got to Logan's room.  
*knock, knock*  
Logan answered a moment later.  
"Yes?"  
"Do you know what the deal is with the electricity?"  
"Electricity?"  
"The hum from the wiring. My lamp was just flickering." Logan stared at him, confused. "We don't have any electrical wiri-" His ears perked up, and he looked around, noticing the hum. "What?" He whispered to himself.  
"That's what I'm asking."  
Logan turned to Virgil, serious. "Go get Roman and Patton. This sounds like it could be a problem."  
Virgil warped into Roman's room.  
"Hey, Princey?"  
"Yes, Long John Shiver?" Roman called out tiredly.   
"Cut it with the names Captain Flair. This is important."  
"Go on."  
Virgil rolled his eyes. "There's something wrong with the electricity. Logan wants us to gather in the living room." The Roman warped out, but Virgil stayed and opened the door. He figured he'd return the favor for Patton from earlier. Virgil went into the hallway and stopped at Patton's door.  
*knock, knock*  
He waited. No answer.  
*knock, knock, knock*  
Still nothing.  
*knock, knock, knock, knock*  
Silence. Virgil warped in.  
No Patton.


	3. Chapter 3

Virgil warped back into the living room. A concerned Logan was speaking urgently to Roman, who shook his head and looked around worriedly.  
"Patton's not in his room."  
Logan cut his conversation short and stared at Virgil. "Did you go in?" He asked impatiently, adjusting his glasses.  
"I warped in when he didn't answer the door. He wasn't in there."  
"These events are likely connected..." Logan tapped his chin.  
"I think he said he was going to go get something." Virgil chimed in.  
"Yes, but that was over an hour ago, I figured he'd be back right now."  
Roman glanced at the front door. "I saw Patton leave earlier, but he didn't say where he was going. My best guess is that he went to memory storage."  
"He never takes this long, even when he can't find what he's looking for. Not to mention that *this*..." He pointed around the room, the hum slightly louder and randomly fluctuating. "...isn't normal. If it's an emergency, we need him back here as soon as possible."  
The three glanced at each other, trying to decide what to do next.  
"We should probably wait a little while and see if he comes to us first." Roman suggested. "In the meantime, we can see about the electrical problem."  
Logan nodded his head thoughtfully. "I suppose so, but only a few minutes."  
"So... where does the power come from, exactly?" Virgil asked.  
"Well, it's not technically physical electricity. The Mind Palace's power comes from Thomas' emotions- specifically inspiration, happiness, and, err, being 'energetic.'"  
"Wouldn't that drain Thomas' 'energy' though?" Virgil asked.  
Logan looked back at him. "It's not really electricity, so it doesn't work like real electricity. Basically, as long as it's there, we get power. But if something's affecting those emotions, it would, theoretically, affect our power."  
The lights on the Christmas tree flickered.  
"Patton represents Thomas' feelings, so chances are it has something to do with him."  
Roman spoke up. "This has never happened before, even when Patton's been upset. How do you know there's a-?"  


The hum stopped with a distorted mechanical *clack.* A couple of bulbs on the Christmas tree winked. The room temperature suddenly dropped several degrees.  
Virgil shivered a little, goosebumps forming on his arms and the hairs on the back of his neck standing up slightly.   
"Why did it get colder in here? We don't even have A/C."  
Logan rubbed his glassed, frowning. "The temperature is conjured; it should be climate controlled. It shouldn't be affected by the electricity...."  
An odd feeling passed through them, like being in-between two repelling magnets. Virgil hugged his elbows.  
"Patton." Roman said hollowly, a confused expression on his face.  
"What?"  
"Patton. I can't *sense* him anymore."  
Logan raised his eyebrows quizzically, about to ask him to elaborate. He stopped beforehand, shocked.  
"I can't either."  
Virgil didn't understand what they meant, but he still felt it. "'Sense?'"  
Logan blinked a coupe of times before answering.  
"Normally we can 'sense' each other- we know if we're in the mindscape or outside talking to Thomas. The sense isn't that strong to begin with, but Patton's just off the radar."  
Roman glanced between the two wildly.  
"I'll go get Thomas."


	4. Chapter 4

Roman warped out to Thomas' bedroom. He was asleep, still and quiet, chest rising and falling in small intervals. Roman felt a little bad for having to wake him up, but this was important.  
"Thomas!" He whisper-yelled. Thomas barely stirred.  
"Thomas!" Roman said again, inching closer. His arm twitched a little, and Roman saw his pupil move a little under his eyelid, but no real response. "Ugh. We don't have time for this." He mumbled, rolling his eyes. Roman seized Thomas by the forearms and shook him mildly. "Thomas! Wake up!"  
Thomas pushed Roman away and half-sat up, perching his elbow on his pillow. His eyes fluttered open groggily.  
"Roman?" He yawned.  
Roman yawned back reflexively, but stopped himself, shaking his head. "There's an emergency, come with me."  
"Emergency?" Thomas asked sleepily.  
"Yes, Patton's missing. Come on!" He grabbed Thomas' arm and warped back into the Mind Palace.  
...

Roman and Thomas reappeared in the living room, Roman landing normally while Thomas tripped a little, catching himself on the wall.  
"Warn a guy next time!"  
"Sorry, but this is important."  
"Thomas." Logan said, getting his attention. "See if you can summon Patton, it's urgent." Thomas sighed.  
"Patton." He said.  
Nothing happened.  
"Patton?" He asked a little louder.  
No Patton.  
"I figured as much." Logan said, his tone wavering. "Not to mention it didn't change to day when you woke up." Thomas, Virgil, and Roman glanced at the window, the night still tar-black against the polished marble snow. The rainbow Christmas lights lining the top of the window blinked off with a tiny *click,* the multicolored spotlights on the ground going out.  
The temperature went down a few more degrees, and the hum restarted.  
Thomas shivered. "Why'd it get so cold in here?"  
They explained what happened prior to his arrival. He merely shrugged when they finished.  
Virgil was a little unsettled. Thomas' face was just sort of... expressionless. Patton's disappearance was a lot to process, but normally Thomas would be freaking out if something like this happened. Especially to Patton.  
"Hey, Thomas? You feeling okay?"  
Thomas stared at him blankly. "To be honest, I think I should feel... bad, I guess, but I don't really."  
Virgil was nearly shaking. "W-well, how do you feel, then?" A sick feeling entered the pit of his stomach.  
"I don't feel any particular way at the moment."  
That struck a nerve.  
Virgil conjured a flashlight and opened the front door. He heard a couple of "wait!-s" behind him, but he closed it swiftly and walked off into the night.  
A snowman in the yard shuddered and collapsed, and a line of Christmas lights strewn around the roof blinked.


	5. Chapter 5

Virgil ran, leaving the Mind Palace in the distance. He kept his flashlight trained in front of him, Patton's footprints leading the way. They were faint- whipped by the wind and distorted by patches of fresh snow. Virgil picked up the pace, sprinting, the beam extending from his flashlight arcing as he followed the prints into the forest. He weaved through the trees, twigs and needles breaking and catching on his hoodie as he streaked by. Massive waves and swirls of snow blew all around and carried his faint smoke-like breath out in tendrils behind him. Virgil's teeth clattered against the frigid air, which stung his face and froze his exposed hands. He conjured more clothes as he ran- mittens, a coat, a trapper hat, a scarf- conforming to his body as he travelled through the salt-and-sugar underbrush and thickening woods.  
The wind howled, shoving against Virgil with each frigid gust. He stumbled as he ran, knocking into tree trunks and pushing them to propel forward. Virgil swept the air in front of him with his flashlight, frantically surging through the forest as fast as his legs could take him. The moon disappeared behind churning steel clouds, the trees reduced to silhouettes and lengthening shadows, restricting his vision to the dim shaft of light in front of him. He squinted a little, peering out to the distance- only muddled outlines and icy flakes in all directions. Another flurry hit Virgil. He screwed his eyes shut and put an arm over his face to block it from the bitter frost, raising the other to grab hold of a tree. His legs were tired and shaking, but he pressed on.  
Virgil panicked when he noticed the footprints were getting farther apart.  
One print... The second just up ahead! They stretched away from each other, the impact in the snow almost fresh.  
Almost fresh.  
Virgil bolted, flashlight barely crossing over Patton's tracks as his whole body trembled and flew. He ran again as fast as he could, his legs and sides burning, the snow crunching underneath his feet.  
*Crunch, patch*...*Crunch, patch*...*Crunch, patch*...  
He tripped.  
Virgil didn't see the root just above the surface if the snow before it was too late. The world turned upside down in a black and gray and brown and white clamor, his chest slamming the ground. He picked himself up, heaving his tired legs and tingling arms back into motion and brushing off the alabaster fluff from his clothes.  
Where was the flashlight?  
Virgil looked behind him. It sat ruined and half buried, shards of glass scattered about in the snow and a dying bulb, blinking a final couple of times before leaving him in darkness. He tried conjuring a new one, but that strange magnet feeling came over him again. The new flashlight hovered in the air, translucent, for a moment before disappearing. Virgil tried again. Nothing.  
He left the broken flashlight behind him, and strained his eyes to see what he could before him. The footprints...  
Ah, there they were, straight ahead!  
Virgil resumed his trek for a few minutes when he noticed the steps were getting erratic. He slowed down a little, following them to a sharp turn.  
Another few minutes. Turn.  
Another few minutes. Turn.  
The steps were fresh! Virgil sped up again. Turn.  
He saw that rock before. What? There were a million rocks around here that all look the same, why would-? That root. The broken flashlight.  
He had been going around in circles.  
A great big circle for who-knows-how-long?  
Virgil shook. From tiredness, from cold, from fear... His whole body shuddered as his breath quickened. He fell to his knees and hugged them.  
"Patton." He said vainly. His lip trembled.  
"Patton." The corners of his eyes felt cold and wet.  
"Patton." He said, choking back a sob. The wetness fell down in a line.  
Virgil pounded the snow with his fists.  
"PATTON!" He cried into the uncaring night. His eyeshadow ran down his cheeks as the tears fell in cold droplets.  
Virgil leaned back onto a nearby tree. I should get back up! He thought, yet he did not move. I need to find Patton, keep moving! He thought again, but the tears came in waterfalls and he couldn't stand any longer.  
He closed his eyes.  
Snow came down like fog, and was whisked by a moaning wind.


	6. Chapter 6

"Virgil, wai-"  
The door slammed shut before Roman could finish. He stood in front of the doorway, staring, and stomped his foot.  
"What's with him?" Thomas asked nonchalantly, taking a seat on the couch. Logan paced the room, his hand shifting around his face as he wiped his forehead and cheeks and rested it on his chin.  
"What are we going to do!" Roman yelled.  
"I'm thinking." Said Logan. "Just stay calm."  
"How can you possibly be calm? Virgil just *left* and Patton's missing! Thomas isn't even himself! He and you are just so *calm,* that's the problem! Aren't you two the least but concerned that MORALITY and ANXIETY are gone, or am I the only one?"  
"I don't think I'm concerned." Thomas said flatly. "Maybe a little bored. I dunno." Roman looked at him warily, trembling.  
Logan walked over to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Roman." He whispered. "I'm scared too. Don't blame Thomas- it's not his fault. This isn't anyone's fault. Please, just try to keep it together."  
Roman looked down and rubbed his arm. "Okay, okay. But we still need a plan."  
Logan parted and resumed pacing.  
"What're you two whispering about?"  
Roman glanced at Thomas sadly, and turned away.  
"We're trying to come up with a plan. If you have any ideas, you can share, I suppose."  
The three stirred, the air like static. The hum came back again, loud and oscillating. A light turned off. Another two blinked off. The Mind Palace shook as its lights shut off in succession.  
*Click*  
*Click*  
*Click*   
The sound of a large industrial machinery shutting down resonated from the walls, and plunged them into darkness. The temperature dropped- they shivered as their breaths became barely visible in front of them and the cold skimmed over their exposed skin.  
Roman snapped and enveloped his fingertips in orange flame. It lit up their faces slightly as they huddled near, casting the shadows and light into masks of tangerine-and-onyx.  
"Roman." Said Logan. "Go light the fireplace and watch Thomas. See if you can warm it up in here. I'll go outside and work on the lights."  
"Why?"  
"They won't find the Mind Palace if they can't see it. I'll try to fix up the electricity if I can, or at least make it easy for them to find us again."  
"Logan..." Roman complained.  
"I'll just be outside." Logan left and opened and closed the door in the blink of an eye.  
Roman sighed to himself and touch-and-feeled his way to the fireplace, Thomas in tow. He crouched down and snapped his fingers again, using the small flame as a lighter.  
*Snap, snap* The wood wouldn't catch.  
*Flick, flick* A couple of tiny sparks caught, but snuffed themselves out.  
*Flick, snap* The firewood lit up with some tendrils of yellow, but it didn't spread.  
Roman held his hands near it, conjuring harder. The fire turned ochre and orange-red, growing and burning brighter.  
Thomas and Roman sat there in front of the fireplace, silent.


	7. Chapter 7

Virgil awoke to a warm, damp feeling on his forehead. He blinked the blurriness out of his eyes and shakily sat up, grabbing the whatever-it-was and taking it off. A folded towel?  
"Oh, you're awake." Virgil snapped his head in the direction of the voice. There, a man crouched in front of him. He wore a blue-and-white Christmas sweater with puppies and kitties on the borders, and a cracked pair of fogged-up glasses.  
Virgil would know him anywhere.  
"Patton?" The corners of his eyes felt wet again.  
"Hi, kiddo." He said softly. Virgil leapt and enveloped him in a hug.  
"Patton! I'm so happy to see you! I ran around out there trying to find you but ended up going in circles..." He wiped at his cheek as the fresh tears came down, sniffling. "...But I found you, or you found me, I don't know- I don't care. You're here! I'm here! Together!" Virgil's arms slid down as his chest heaved. He looked around. "Where is 'here?'"  
They sat on a rocky floor, a smattering of stalagmites here and there under dripping stalactites. An open fire crackled behind them, grass and broken branches, needles and pine cones burned as kindling, giving the space a friendly pine scent. Faint dark spots littered the floor around it, likely previous water spots where the snow melted when it was brushed off. There was a view of the outside a ways away, where they could see a thousand white dots falling at an angle against the black backdrop of night and hear the high-pitched whistle of a distant wind.  
"I discovered this cave after I got lost- used it as shelter to wait out the blizzard. I heard you calling my name a while ago so I set out to look for you. I found you asleep against a tree, so I brought you back here before the storm picked up again."  
Virgil watched the fire, processing. "Storm?"  
"Yeah. Snowstorm. Rolled in a little while after we got back here."  
He chewed his lip and looked back at Patton. "How'd you get lost in the first place?"  
Patton made a sad smile and turned to the burning flame. "When you said you didn't understand Christmas, I went out to find Memories. Usually I keep my favorites in my room, but I wanted to find Thomas' happiest Christmas memories and show them to you." He took a ragged breath and wiped the intact lens on his glasses. "But I got lost on the way there. I tried conjuring a map or a compass, but the compass just spun everywhere and the map was blank." Patton glanced at Virgil. "I also tried following the stars, but the clouds blocked them out." He half-smiled. "Logan would know what to do- if he were here. He'd know every star's name and position by memory without looking up."  
Virgil smirked and nodded in agreement. He stared down at the cave floor and went over the rock with his thumb. "I guess we're stuck here, huh?"  
Patton put his hand over Virgil's. "Well, you're not the worst person to be stuck with, I'd say."  
"Same to you, Pat."  
He smiled and stood, walking over to a bag Virgil hadn't noticed before and procuring a small metal cylinder.  
"A thermos." He explained. "I nabbed some leftover hot cocoa before I left. It's kinda lukewarm, but if you wanna share it..."  
"Uh, sure." Virgil responded. Patton walked over and sat down next to him again, creating a pair of mugs. He poured half of the drink into each mug, and drank contently, going back to watching the fire.  
"You can still conjure?"  
Patton nodded. "Yep." He said, licking his lips. "But, like I said with the map and compass, doesn't always work. It's spotty, but I can still do small stuff."  
Virgil grimaced and looked at his mug. In printed purple cursive read "Best-est Friends. (Merry Christmas.)"  
He drank the cocoa and stared at the fire with Patton.  
For a moment, it felt like they were home again.


	8. Chapter 8

Roman sat in front of the fireplace with Thomas, hands held out to keep the fire lit. They watched through the metal screen as the firewood burned, and the smoke rise in a thin, murky draft up the flue of the chimney. Little embers floated up like fireflies, and the wood crackled like pebbles in a stream as it charred.  
"You're frowning." Said Thomas. Roman gave a curt nod in response and bit the inside of his cheek. "Why?"  
He winced. "I'm upset." Thomas pursed his lips.  
"Why's that?" Roman curled his hand into a fist and uncurled it, the fire wavering.  
"Can I ask you a question, Thomas?" He asked, changing the subject.  
"I guess."  
"Do you *really* not feel anything right now?" Thomas shook his head, a somber expression crossing his face momentarily.  
Roman's frown deepened. "I thought as much."  
Thomas looked at the floor. "There is this sort of *empty* sensation in my stomach, though. I'm not hungry, so it's weird. It gets worse when I think about Virgil and Patton being gone, and the look on Logan's face... and when I see your frown. It's why I asked." Roman put his hand on Thomas's shoulder, supporting the flame with the other. "It's a lot like the fire." He continued. "Or the absence of it- that emptiness. It's cold." Thomas noticed Roman's hand and giggled inwardly.  
"What?"  
"Your hand. The sensation from it is the opposite. I think it's..." He struggled for the right word. "Good. Warm."  
...

Logan marched outside and inspected the roof. All dark. He walked around the perimeter of the house. There must be some main power unit, he thought. He'd work from there. Logan went around the house a couple of times- nothing.  
He outstretched his arm and held his hand to the wall, thinking. He drummed it with his fingers, pensive.  
Vibrations on the wall. *In* the wall.  
Of course!  
Logan pressed his ear to it. Almost a noise- almost. His eyes darted around the wall, picturing the wires in-between inside and outside. The house was like a well with a broken pump... No, the pump's not the problem, it's the water- it's not gone, not all the way, but close. The hum from the walls was a ripple in the bottom of the well, half-sound and half-vibration; silent and beyond hearing by itself but audible with the echo bouncing off the stones. He concentrated.  
The pump's not broken and the water's at the bottom, so how to draw it?  
Raise the water.  
It sounded ludicrous, but there wasn't much of an alternative in regards to other thoughts. The power didn't work like normal electricity, nor water, but could he apply the same principles?  
Logan took a step back and focused on the string of lights above him. He tried using his sense- if it works for the other sides, why shouldn't it work for emotions?  
Logan ignored how convoluted his lead felt, and pressed on.  
He closed his eyes and looked-without-seeing. The power. The wires in the walls. The lights outside. Logan opened them and traced the power's path, conjuring. The multicoloured lights blinked on one-by-one as his finger went past.  
Red. Blue. Purple...  
A gust came out of seemingly nowhere and made him lurch forward, lights switching off as he broke his focus. Logan glanced up at them warily and started on Plan B.


	9. Chapter 9

Virgil set his mug down on the cave floor and hugged his knees. He closed his eyes and rubbed them, sore from staring at the fire.  
"What's wrong, kiddo?" Virgil waited a few seconds before answering, listening to the wind.  
"This is my fault." He said plainly.  
"It's not." Patton countered. Patton always did that- whenever you said something self-deprecating, he always rejected it immediately. It was endearing in a way, Virgil thought as he ran his fingers through his hair.  
"You wouldn't have gotten lost if it wasn't for me. You wouldn't have gone out to look for those memories if I had just sat there and *listened* to you." He wiped his eye with his sleeve.  
"I only wanted to do that because you didn't understand Christmas. As I said, it's not your fault."  
"I *ruined* Christmas, Patton. You always work so hard to make it perfect, and I messed it up. Now we're in a cave who-knows-where and the others are worried sick. They brought Thomas, for crying out loud!" Patton shot up.  
"They brought Thomas?"  
"Yeah, they figured if he called you that you'd appear." Virgil tapped his fingernails against the rocky ground. "The power started going out and the temperature started dropping." Patton went pale and nervously traced the rim of his mug.  
"I was afraid this might happen." Virgil furrowed his brow.  
"That hasn't happened before, has it?"  
"No, but of course something would happen to the Mind Palace if I got lost. I just never expected it to actually, you know, *happen.*"  
"Me neither."  
They sat there for a while, listening to the little *snap*-s and *pop*-s of their little hearth.  
"You didn't ruin Christmas either, you know." Patton said. Virgil remained silent. "I'm still spending it with you, aren't I?"  
He wiped at his eyes yet again. "I guess so." Virgil supplied with a waver. He sighed.  
"Merry Christmas, Patton."  
"Merry Christmas, Virgil."  
Patton wrapped him in a hug and abruptly stood. "What're you doing?"  
The reflection of the fire in his eye gave him a confident glimmer.  
"We're going to find the others."


	10. Chapter 10

Roman sat crisscrossed on the floor. He passed in and out of half-sleep, his unrealized tiredness and the hour of night seeping in every once in a while before reality caught up with him. His arms hurt from being held up so long. How long would it take Logan to finish out there? Roman returned to tending the fire when something felt off. His hands were cold. He furled his brow and squinted at the fireplace, trying to find the source of the impossible cold.  
The fire sputtered as a freezing draft let itself in from the flue. Roman gawked and looked up at the best angle he could manage. That's not how chimneys work!- Hot air *rises!*  
Before he could ponder why it was, the draft turned into a downward gust and the fire blew out in one fell swoop. The temperature dropped again, and Thomas and he could see their breaths. Thomas shivered.  
"Why'd the-" He was cut off by the sound of a tap at the window. Roman glided over and inspected it. No, not a tap, a crack! The front window was thickly frosted over, and a tiny web-like crack fissured in the center.  
It grew.  
The cracking of the glass was audible now as thin white lines spread all around it. He took several steps back, the window vibrating. It shook some more, and the long-gone hum came again, louder and louder as the window continued breaking.  
"Get back!" Roman yelled, and the window shattered, a hundred shards of glass falling to the ground. The hum reached a crescendo, and shut off. They covered their ears as the percussive blast shook the house, and everything went still.  
He opened his eyes to check the extent of the damages- glass littered everywhere and a strong, bitter wind screeching into the house, trailing with blurred snowflakes and ruffling the curtains. The front doorknob jostled to an open, and Logan stepped in, shaking. He barely closed the door before he slumped over. "Logan!" Roman charged over to him, crouching to the floor. "Logan, you big nerd, are you okay?"  
"Yes, I'm fine." Roman smiled but the tears got the better of him.  
"You sure?"  
"Yes." Logan said, propping himself up on the wall. "I tried to conjure the power back on, but something went wrong." He slipped and slumped down again. He was pale, and his skin felt icy.  
Roman turned to Thomas. "He's hyperextended his conjuring, so he's weak. Help me pick him up."  
Thomas and Roman lifted Logan and stumbled down the hall before they would lose balance.  
"Set him on the bed in my room." Roman conjured his bedroom doorknob open and they heaved Logan onto the bed.  
"Watch him." Roman huffed. "I'll try to close off the windows and see what I can do about the heat in here. If it gets too cold, move to Patton's room." He jogged down the hall.  
Logan cleared his throat. "Go in Patton's room." He said weakly. "He should have enough blankets and such for the three of us. I'll keep myself warm while you're gone."  
Thomas nodded and left the room. As he looked back, he could see Logan holding his palms up, eyes closed, as if he were in a trance. The temperature increased only a couple of degrees.


	11. Chapter 11

The first thing Thomas noticed when he went into Patton's room was that it was covered in frost. The floor was crisp beneath his feet, the carpet rigid- his steps produced a muffled *cronch* like biting into a snow cone. He treaded lightly around the room, rummaging around for blankets or quilts- Patton's ought to have loads of them.  
Thomas looked around. There was a white sheet hung on a wire on the far side of the room, frosty but usable. He noticed there were other wires hanging from the ceiling, too, iced-over polaroids clipped to them. Thomas could make out a few of the pictures- grainy photos of long-passed holidays and friends and family, and sharp, glossy ones with new friends and conventions with fanders and collabs with other artists. Everyone was smiling or laughing in them. Something stirred in him. He never really thought about how old he was getting, not really.  
Thomas went over to the closet and opened it, the doors quietly scraping against the standing-on-end carpet. There were several blankets on a shelf at the top.  
Bingo.  
He reached up and collected them in his arms, looking down for a moment.  
A stack of film reels and a box without a top. The uppermost reel had a sticker labelled "Roman" in red marker and the box had a... something in it, covered by an envelope. It was hard to make out, but written on the envelope in scrawling cursive was "For Thomas."  
Thomas set the blankets on Patton's bed and swooped down to get the envelope- it was his after all, it had his name on it. He felt a little twinge while taking it, hesitating. Thomas turned it over in his head for a moment before opening the letter.  


"Dear Thomas, I'm sorry I couldn't make you a Christmas sweater last year, and I'd like to make up for it. It took me a few months to put together, (I wanted it to be extra special- no conjuring!) so I hope you'll like it. Love, Patton."

He felt a pang in his chest reading it, but it dissipated after a second. Thomas reached for the sweater, laying it on the bed as well so he could see the decoration. It was black and woven, and at least half a size too big. His name was sewn on the front with thick white thread, and was surrounded by a yellow-gold art deco design in a circle around it. Underneath the name, the sweater sported a small green Christmas tree with a star on top. He turned it over to the back. With the same white thread and giant calligraphic script read "Our Star."  
The corners of Thomas' eyes felt like they were being pricked. He held a finger up to his eye and wiped at it. Wet. Probably just the cold. Thomas put the sweater and envelope back as neatly as he could and inspected the film reels, sifting through them. There were three- one for Logan, Roman, and Virgil. He turned towards the hung sheet on the other side of the room.  
Thomas assumed it was a camera near it on the ground at first glance, but as he walked over to it, he saw it was a frosted-over projector. He brushed off the frost and tried turning it on. With a couple of *click*-s, it fluttered to life. Thomas took the first reel and mounted it, sitting crisscrossed on a blanket on the floor.  



	12. Chapter 12

3...  
2...  
1...  
The film curved and dipped in the sheet's creases as it gently cascaded forward-and-backward. It was a somewhat bleached and grainy recording in that very room, with Patton in the center shot. He flashed a smile.  
"Hi, Logan." Thomas looked at the projector. There was a little speaker underneath it, laying on its side. The sound resonated like an old radio, a scratchy, static-y kind of background noise behind Patton's tenor voice.

"I decided I'd do something a little different for you guys' Christmas presents this year. It might be a little embarrassing, but I'm making one for everyone, so it'll be okay." He raked his hand through his hair and glanced away. He looked back at the camera. "I hope you have a Merry Christmas, I really do. I know the holiday can be a little stressful for you, especially with all the, ah, *emotions* associated with it." Patton made a sappy, half-smile, but a look of regret flashed behind his pupils.  
"Still, thank you for putting up with me and my 'seasonal antics.'" He said the last phrase teasingly. "It means a lot. In fact, it means the world to me. If you need a break from all this Christmas stuff, that's okay. I hope you'll forgive me for my enthusiasm- it is my favorite holiday, after all. I think you could have a lot of a merrier Christmas, too, if you open yourself up a little more." Patton rubbed at his knuckles, contemplating. "I know it's not very present-y to ask a favor, but if you'll permit me... it would be real swell to see you open up a little more, kiddo, and maybe be a little nicer to Roman." He half-smiled. "He's not that bad."  
Patton rolled up his sweater sleeve and took his glasses off for a moment, wiping at the corner. He put them back on. "Something in my eye." He mumbled to himself. Patton sighed.  
"Merry Christmas, Logan. I love you, kiddo." His arm reached forward- behind the camera and the film cut to black.

Thomas ignored the sinking in his stomach as he dismounted the reel and inserted the next in the stack.  
3...  
2...  
1...  
The recording flickered to life.  
"Hi, Roman." Patton looked tired- light bags under his eyes, but he didn't show it. "I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your hard work. I mean, gift ideas, decorations, helping Thomas out- especially in such a busy time of year. I couldn't do it without you, and I'm sure the others would agree." He picked at the hem of his sweater. "Speaking of the others... Maybe you could give Logan a little bit less of a hard time for me? I know you two usually just play around, but sometimes it gets outta hand. It'd be nice to see you two get along, even if just for a day. Regardless, you're a really big help, and sometimes you might not get credit for all you do. So... Thank you. Merry Christmas, kiddo. Love you." Patton made a heart shape with his hands and reached behind the camera again, film going dark.

Thomas put in the last reel. His eyes were getting wet, and he scowled to himself as he rubbed them. Probably just a cold, he thought as the film started. Still, he couldn't shake the suspicion that it was something else.  
3...  
2...  
1...  
The recording flashed softly a few times before it started.  
"Hi, Virgil." Patton looked much more tired, the bags under his eyes darker and his hair mussed. "It took me a while to figure out what to say for this one- you're very special to me, is all." He put his hand up to his mouth to cover a small yawn.  
"Sorry, it's kinda late while I'm making this." Patton murmured. He smoothed out some wrinkles in his sweater and resumed.  
"You know, I'm proud of you. It's only your second Christmas with us, sure, but I'm still so proud of how far you've come from when you first arrived. You've grown so much in just the last year, even!" Patton winced. "I can see how uncomfortable Christmas makes you. I can. But you power through it- that's the thing. I don't want Christmas to seem like a drag for you, so if you need to relieve some stress sometime or even just talk to me about it, you can."  
"You're always trying to be strong, but it's okay if you need help. We all do sometimes- Thomas, Logan, Roman, even me. We're all there for each other, though. I want to be there for you, too. See, that's what Christmas is about." He smiled knowingly. "Being there for each other."  
Patton smiled again, giggling to himself. "'I love my dark, strange son.'" He said. "Merry Christmas, kiddo."  
He reached behind the camera and the film ended.


	13. Chapter 13

Virgil and Patton trudged through the forest, their shoes making shin-high depressions in the thickening snow with every step. The wind roared in their ears and hair and stung their faces, flurrying snowflakes shooting like stars around them as they blinked away the ice catching in their eyelashes. Virgil looked behind him- the cave now just a rocky outcropping in the distance, their fire snuffed out. He turned his head forward.  
Into the unknown, yet again.  
"Patton?" Virgil shouted as he staggered forward, losing and regaining his balance. He could barely see his friend in front of him as he followed, near-blind.  
"Yeah?" Patton called out from a ways in front. He lost his footing momentarily and leaned against a tree trunk.  
"Where are we going?" Virgil called out as the pitch of the high-in-the-air winds climbed and fell and climbed again.  
"Do you trust me?" Patton cried, looking back. Their eyes locked as the snow pushed and whipped at their clothes.  
"...Yes." Virgil half-yelled breathlessly. Patton turned and they resumed their trek.  
"I'm going where I feel home is!" He shout-explained. "I'm picking up on the sense! It's really weak, but I can still *feel* it!"  
Virgil followed Patton silently, his heart racing.  
Into the unknown.  
Against the bitter cold.  
Afraid.  


...

Virgil could barely see in front of him. He held up his gloved hand and shook it back and forth. Nothing- no movement. He could only see wisps of his own breath seething through chattering teeth, little puffs of gray steam with every rise and fall of his chest. His joints were stiff and his legs felt tired and raw. He shook off the cold, wet snow that increasingly seemed to want to bury him- he had to do that every few minutes to not end up a snowman.  
"Patton?" Virgil called out. "Can you see where you're going?" A few seconds passed and he heard a sudden *slump.*  
Virgil's heart slammed in his chest as he stopped in his tracks.  
"Patton?" He asked again, voice wavering. Virgil surged forward, eyes straining to pick out Patton's silhouette. He took a few steps forward and stooped down to his face.  
"Oh dear, are you okay?" Virgil asked, shaking. "Pat?" Patton pushed himself up.  
"Yeah, yeah, kiddo. I'm fine." He said, wiping the snow off his glasses. "Just tripped." Patton craned his neck to inspect the ground. "A root." He muttered. Virgil looked around, rubbing his arms.  
"We can't keep going blind like this."  
"I know." Patton admitted. He sighed, a little shiver making his voice tremble. "Can you try to conjure?"  
Virgil snapped his fingers a couple of times. Nothing. A couple more. A spark- then a sickly, yellow flame curled up from his index finger. He looked at Patton's face, lit gold-and-black. He gave a weary smile.  
"Progress."


	14. Chapter 14

Thomas put his hand on the bed for support as he stood, shivering vigorously, the hairs on his arms sticking up from goose bumps. Thomas picked up the blankets and hesitated before also taking the sweater, putting it on. He grabbed the door handle to leave- the door itself covered by a thin layer of ice- and bit him with a cold-burn. Thomas jerked his hand back, holding it and breathing in sharply before shaking it off. Bunching up the sweater arms over both hands, he jostled the handle, the ice crackling as it came loose and the door finally swung open.  


...

Thomas entered Roman's room, a *crunch* with each step as he broke the frost on the carpet. Logan crouched in front of the bed as he held his hands out, conjuring warmth best he could. He glanced up at him.  
"Blankets- good." Logan muttered tightly. His jaw slightly vibrated as he clenched it closed, stopping his teeth from chattering. He stood and took the blankets from Thomas' hands, wrapping Roman up in a few and taking a couple for himself.  
"Thanks." Logan sat back down and reached out in front of Roman, a space-heater glow coming off his hands. It did little to keep the frost around them from thickening, but it was warmth nonetheless. Thomas wrapped himself in the remaining blankets and sat criss-crossed next to Logan.  
Roman lay on the bed, pale and barely moving. He shifted around a little and squinted his eyes open. "Lo?" He asked weakly.  
"I'm here. You should go back to sleep- you need to rest."  
Roman shook his head no. "I'm... fine. Just cold. How long have I-?"  
"Less than an hour, nothing too serious. You *need* to rest." Logan reiterated. He grumbled, discontent.  
"What happened?" Thomas asked quietly.  
Logan rubbed his hands together and held them out again before responding.  
"Princey here overextended himself sealing the windows. He passed out from exhaustion."  
Thomas scooted a little closer.  
"Didn't you do the same thing when you tried to get the power back earlier?" He raised an eyebrow. "Don't you need rest too?"  
Logan's fingers twitched, his composure faltering. "I'm tired, but I need to look after you guys. That's more important."  
They sat there as Roman dozed off again. Thomas felt something heavy in his chest, but he couldn't quite place it.  
It hadn't occurred to him how tired he was, too- soon enough he was falling asleep on Logan's shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

Virgil's body felt numb.  
Everything was cold, and he could only feel a light sting on his face. He rubbed it every few minutes, but the snow on his mittens didn't help much.  
He was tired, and hungry, he thought... the hot chocolate aftertaste from earlier now faint and slightly bitter. His stomach growled.  
"Are you hungry?" Patton called out.  
Virgil nodded his head. "Kinda. Yeah." Patton stopped and reached in his pocket, producing a plastic-wrapped cookie.  
"It's a little bent, but I snagged one from the kitchen- here."  
He broke the cookie in two and gave Virgil the other half.  
"Thanks." He said hungrily, wolfing it down. Patton took a bite out of his half and pushed some snow from under a tree with his foot, leaning on the trunk and sitting on the ground.  
"We should stop here for a second. Catch our breaths."  
Virgil cleared the snow under a nearby tree and sat down as well. He wanted to keep going, but his fatigue got the better of him.  
"Hey Patton?" Virgil asked quietly. He was more so talking to himself, really, but Patton heard him still.  
"Yeah?"  
"There was something I forgot to tell you earlier."  
He rubbed his mittens together, shaking the snow off. "What's that?"  
"I love you too."

...

"Thomas... Thomas, wake up now." His eyes fluttered open. Logan stood over him with a concerned expression, Roman behind him and huddled in blankets. "Roman and I were talking, and we decided we should send you back."  
"What- why?" Thomas sat up, rubbing his eyes.  
Roman put his hand on Logan's shoulder, and stepped forward.  
"Let me." He whisper-mumbled. "It's getting too dangerous here. We have to send you home so we can find Patton and Virgil and fix this."  
Thomas furrowed his eyebrows for a second.  
"Okay." He decided. Roman took him by the arm and warped.  
Nothing happened.  
He tried again.  
Nothing.  
"Um, Logan, could you...?" Roman asked hollowly.  
Logan took Thomas's arm and warped.  
Still nothing.  
He stepped back, hand on his chin. Thomas looked at the two.  
"I saw something in Patton's room earlier. You guys would like it, I'm sure." Roman and Logan argued in hushed tones, not hearing what Thomas said. "Patton really cares about us. I've been having this weird feeling in my gut since... well, since he got lost, I guess."  
They turned and stopped their argument, peering at him. Thomas sniffled. "I miss him. I miss Virgil, too. I miss when..." He wiped his eyes. "...when we were all *together.*" He sniffled again, beginning to cry.  
Roman turned, a couple of years streaking down his cheek as he bit his knuckle. Logan rubbed his glasses.  
"We all do."


	16. Chapter 16

Patton jumped to his feet, eyes wide open and glancing wildly in all directions.  
"Virgil! We gotta go- come on!" He took Virgil's hand and hoisted him up.  
"Wha-?"  
"Please! Come on!" Patton begged. He let go of Virgil's hand and tapped his knuckles frantically.  
"What's going on? What is it?"  
"I couldn't find Thomas earlier because he wasn't feeling anything." He took a shaky breath. "I don't know why, but... I'm getting some really intense emotions coming from him. Something might've happened- we have to find them!" Virgil quickly nodded and followed Patton as they ran.  
"How do you know where to go?" He yell-asked, fear seeping into his voice as he trampled the snow underfoot. Patton ducked under a branch.  
"I'm Thomas' feelings- I can sense his emotions *directly.*" He ran faster, Virgil sprinting to keep up. Virgil followed closely behind, bridging the gaps that popped up again and again between them as Patton hastened forward, panic fluttering in his chest.  
"This way!"  
They plowed through the snow, their eyes forced into a squint by the bitter wind and arms and legs heavy as lead.  
"Almost there!" Patton yelled, trembling. Virgil breathed heavily, forcing his muscles to press on.  


...  


The two stopped at a large clearing. There was a house a ways in front of them- a dark shadow against the stark white ground- unlit, with sleety husks of snowmen and disfigured snow angels in the yard and Christmas lights all black and dormant. A fine sheet of ice covered the house, converging at broken, boarded-up windows.  
"Oh, Virgil..." Patton whispered, a hand covering his mouth. The tops of his fingers were wetted by lines trailing down his cheeks. Virgil put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Ssh, ssh." He muttered. "Just breathe. It's okay. Get behind me." Patton took a few steps back, standing cautiously behind Virgil as he walked up to the door and opened it with a *creak.*  
"T-Thomas?" He called out, stuttering at the sight of the frost-covered walls and floors and pitch-black decorations. They hesitated, taking a few careful steps toward the hallway.  
"Roman? L-Logan?"  
Virgil looked back and looked Patton in the eye, a pensive thought passing between them. He upturned the corners of his mouth in a supportive but reserved smile.  
"It's okay." He seemed to whisper.  
They strained their eyes in the dark, seeing a dim light coming from Roman's room.  
Icy fear mounted in their hearts with each step they took, barely daring to exhale. They trembled, gripping their arms and huddled together best they could. They could hear talking now- indistinct but familiar voices. Patton gathered his strength and stepped in front of Virgil, opening the door.  
His heart skipped a beat as he entered the room, Roman, Logan, and Thomas staring up at him.  
It skipped another as Thomas rushed forward and gave him possibly one of the best hugs he ever had.  
"Merry Christmas." He said, crying.  
"Merry Christmas." Patton responded, his tears dampening Thomas' sweater.  
The room was immediately warmer, and out of the corners of his eyes Patton could see the lights turning back on.  
Logan, Roman, and Virgil joined in, and made it absolutely the best hug he ever had.


End file.
